7 Dec

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made mistakes.

Too hasty of a decision.

Too quick of a judgement.

In hindsight, it’s all too easy to heap the blame–

On myself.

To say I wasn’t patient enough.

Wasn’t wise enough.

Wasn’t ready enough.

But there’s nothing I can do at this point except learn,

And relearn.

And accept, “Till this moment, I never knew myself.”

2 Responses to “Mistakes”

  1. Shades of Grey December 7, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    Very powerful. Though I don’t think you need to “heap the blame” on yourself. I know there were times that I felt I made a decision to hastily, or should have given things one more chance. However, as you move along and perhaps reflect more about the things you learn about yourself – and hear that these guys have gotten engaged (which always helps) you’ll know that however things ended, it wasn’t meant to be.

    I don’t think that anyone should ever feel that they missed out on marrying So-and-So because of their decision. In one way or another, things will work out the way they are meant to, and there was/is a lot about the person you might be lamenting that really would not have made for a viable marriage. Thankfully, you won’t have had to suffer through that experience and discovering hwo difficult it would be to live with him, and THEN decide to break things off. This doesn’t mean the other person is bad, because everyone has their negative aspects and shortcomings. It is up to you to learn these aspects of the guy, and decide you can live with them anyway, along with all the good he has, that makes him a worthwhile candidate who should be considered for marriage.

    So yes, you might doubt yourself, but I would believe in yourself more than question your judgement.

    • Coral Cap December 28, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

      Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Since writing this poem I have learned to trust my instincts a lot more than I have in the past. I’ve learned that trusting myself is not a mark of gaava (because I do have a mentor whom I go to about these things), but a mark of emunah. IYH that emunah will translate into finding mt RD bshaa tova.

      You and ASoG must make marvelous shadchanim on YU Connects. Your members are very privileged.

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