Archive | December, 2010

Wimpy Winnifred

29 Dec

There is a girl who lives inside of me,

Her name is Wimpy Winnifred.

And when things don’t quite go my way,

She kvetches inside my head:

You talk too fast,

You think too slow.

What you meant to say,

Nobody knows!

You do too much,

You do too little.

You’re only good enough to be second fiddle.

He seems to like you,

but can’t you see?

It simply, simply cannot be.

How would you know he means what he says?

That his words are true?

Silly girl, what’s gotten into you!

I take her aside

and sit her down

and insist she wipe off that atrocious frown:

The words you say and the thoughts you think,

Will surely confine you to the couch of a shrink.

So do yourself a favor,

And for the rest of us too,

Read a new book.

Take a trip to the park

In case you didn’t know or have not a clue,

There are so many, so many things you can do!

You can learn to eat fire

and play the kazoo

You can march in a marching band

and row a canoe.

Read Shakespeare ’til you’re blue in the face

What light through yonder window breaks.

Tricycle, bicycle

Learn about the cell cycle.

Invent a new fruit,

Drive a new car,

Take a whole night to look at the stars.

There are so many things to be done and said

So please, Wimpy Winnifred, move out of my head.


I’m in a Good Mood!

17 Dec

So I’d like to share my favorite good mood song. If anyone else appreciates Golden Oldies, then this is for you!

The Will of G-d

13 Dec

It was never meant to be. They knew it from the beginning, but oh, how they hoped it wouldn’t be true. She pulled out her Louis Vuitton hanky from her Dooney and Bourke handbag and dabbed a trickling ebony tear from her MAC outfitted eyes.

“I don’t know what to say, Roni” she wept. “How can we fight reality? How can we go against the will of G-d?”

Roni’s head hung low. Every now and then he lifted his eyes to the sky, hoping that the bitter gusts of the wind tunnel would evaporate the warm, welling flecks within his eyes. He had prayed that this day wouldn’t come; that their similarities would outweigh the differences. That fate would trump all odds and obstacles.  “But why can’t we invent a new reality? Our reality. Why would that be against the will of G-d? He wants us to be happy; to serve Him in happiness.”

“But the differences are too big,” she insisted. Her voice quivered with the pain that bloated her heavy heart. How could she let this happen? How could she let herself fall for a boy who was so different from herself? Practically from another world. She could never bring him home to her parents. They would never accept him and treat him as family.

“How can you be so sure?” Roni asked. “You never told them about me, never brought me over for dinner to let them meet me. I’m not the guy they think you’d be happy with,but don’t you think that will change when they see how well we suit each other?.”

Ita could hardly bare the limp trembling in his words.  How could he read her mind so well? How did he know exactly what she was thinking? How could she give up the one person who wrote her silly poems about the cell cycle during her bio labs and made Snoopy sculptures out of cantaloupe? How could she deny that the last month of her life had been the happiest yet? How could she say goodbye? “You don’t understand, Roni, they won’t get it.”

“What won’t they get? That I treat you well? That I’m on my way to becoming a dentist? That we have a solid relationship? I’m not understanding what they will disapprove of.”

“I told you from the beginning that there is one glaring problem about this relationship.” She dabbed away tear from her petite nose. “Israel.”

“I told you it’s not a deal breaker for me. Finding the right girl comes first, we’ll figure out where we live later.”

“No,” she sighed expectantly, “I mean the Year in Israel.”

Roni’s confusion continued to frame his brow.

“Yeshiva and seminary. We just don’t match up.”

“We discussed this a long time ago and in the end you said you were more open-minded.”

“Yeah because I thought this wouldn’t go anywhere. Darchei Binah and Gush? Whoever heard of such a mix?”

“But if we don’t care why should they?” Roni insisted, his tone pleading for reconsideration. “Look I never imagined I’d end up with a girl from Bayit V’gan but once I met you I realized how irrelevant it is where you went to seminary. I thought you came to the same conclusion.”

Ita tucked her handkerchief back into her purse and gently whisked her bubbly brown curls behind her shoulder. “Look, I know I’m 21 already and the good guys are going fast…but there’s only so much I can compromise on. Can’t you imagine how awkward our Onlysimchas page is going to look?”

He couldn’t deny the truth. What would people think when they saw them together, out in the open, in real life? Ita was right, they couldn’t fight the will of G-d. How could He will two people from such different paths and different molds to be together? So they both wanted to make Aliyah. So they both wanted to have a home open to guests. So they both believed in the importance of kovea itim. So what? Darchei Binah and Gush had set their fate. There was no working around it, and with this realization, Roni let his head face the pavement. The wind wasn’t blowing away those flecks. Nothing would.

Roni and Ita parted as friends that night, dedicated to helping each other find their true basherts. For five years they would call each other from time to time, seeing what the other was up to, setting each other up with whoever they could think of. It took five years for Ita to find her bashert, only a month for Roni to find his…but in the end they both agreed that they couldn’t fight the will of G-d. The Real Deal is the Real Deal, no matter the material of his kippah or the number of pleats in her skirt.

Girls Will Be Girls

6 Dec

Boys will be boys, and even that wouldn’t matter if we could prevent girls from being girls.

— Anne Frank


You tell me what this  quote has to do with the current surge of Maccabeat mania.