Pull! Yourself! Together!

26 Nov

Every guy wants to be Mr. Incredible. Some become Mr. Incredible by braving the bar exam, others by tackling year upon year of medical school and others by conquering tax season. All in all, they all share the common desire – to be viewed as strong, respectable and able to support.

Every girl wants to be Elastigirl. She wants to be admired for her wit and humor, her binah, sehcel and da’at. She wants to give love and empower those she cares about. She wants to feel special. Beautiful. She may successfully disguise herself as the self-sufficient woman with no need for anymore, particularly a man…but take away her fancy degrees and impressive job and she is like those who are less “accomplished” as she is, in want of companionship and love.

With G-d’s guidance and generosity, we find that person who makes us feel like Mr. Incredible or Elastigirl. They see us like G-d sees us; imperfect yet so capable and precious. They understand what we are capable of and what our potential is more so than we can see in ourselves. They believe we can save the world. They believe we have a purpose, and the most incredible thing is, we see the same potential in them. Put the two together and you get a flagrant force, ready to take on the challenges of life.

But sometimes, this understanding and clarity of vision fades. Life is hard. Our superpowers become dull and blunt. The bills have to be paid, the roof to get fixed, the shopping lists grow and tuition…oh don’t even get me started about tuition. The superhero within is trying to break out of the slumberous routine but it cannot. The ominous words of Shlomo HaMelech ring too true as we slowly become drowsier to the direction of our lives, yet our hearts never forget our true identity.

What is the answer to such a tragedy? What tool has G-d given us to snap out of the slumberous routine?

Kol Dodi Dofek

Through the voice of your beloved Hashem calls out. Being someone’s spouse is not just a means of giving each other companionship and pleasure, being a spouse means accepting responsibility for this person; making sure they don’t forget their capabilities. See the truth as is is- when you choose someone to be your lifelong sidekick, Hashem is choosing you to be His agent in making sure your spouse’s tafkid (purpose in life) is fulfilled. You are their designated chizuk-leader. You are the one who can always remind them they have superpowers. That he is Mr. Incredible and she is Elastigirl – always was, always is and always will be, not matter what life throws our way.

My tefilah to Hashem is that all of us, whether married at this point or still in search of the RD will have the gevurah and sechel to pull ourselves together; to view both members of the relationship as one self. We shouldn’t get to a point where we see our sidekick as an ordinary Joe(ette) with ordinary abilities. We should always view them as Mr. Incredible/ Elastigirl and be able to make them feel that way with every passing day, as they should do for us, b’ezrat Hashem. That’s how it works when you are part of a team – your goals merge. You pull yourself together and become The Unstoppable. The Incredibles.

You will show him  you remember he is Mr. Incredible and you will remind him who you are!

Edna Mode

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3 Responses to “Pull! Yourself! Together!”

  1. Bluestocking November 29, 2010 at 1:43 pm #

    I know a wise psychologist who once said – “When you are washing that pot, you are doing your tafkid.”

    Sure, it’s not glamorous, it may not seem like much, it’s repetitive and boring and icky, but it matters.

    Although, the men I know feel complete in their employment, and need no urging that supporting their family makes them Superman. Any feller would be like that to me. But he would still have to take out the garbage occassionaly.

  2. SoG November 29, 2010 at 4:42 pm #

    great post! Definitely showing this to ASoG.

  3. Coral Cap November 29, 2010 at 9:57 pm #

    Bluestocking- The men might feel completely competent in what they do but everyone has a bad day, so in those instances, it’s important to remind the person (whether male or female) that they’re still amazing. Taking out the garbage is an incredible superpower. Any person who puts the trash in the cans is a hero in my book :).

    SoG- Thank you and I’m so touched! I hope ASoG enjoys it!

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