Keeping it Real

24 Feb

Though I’ve just entered into the world of dating, I’ve been philosophizing and pondering the matters of relationships for a long time.

It all started when Disney’s Pocahontas came out. The movie petrified me (I don’t know how any normal 5- year old is expected to react indifferently to an on-screen shooting) but the love story between Pocahontas and John Smith had me enraptured. It’s not like I hadn’t seen a Disney animated film before. As a child of the 90’s, I had an array of “happily ever afters” to choose from. But something clicked this time. Suddenly a+b=c  made sense, but the equation had nothing to do with algebra.

pretty lady + handsome man= lovey dovey happiness

This new little equation helped me understand the world in a whole new way. The Jammin Oldies my babysitter played in the car now had meaning. Breaking up is hard to do and all we really need…is love. When we would take long car rides to the supermarket, I’d entertain myself by having my Pocahontas and John Smith figurines dance along to and act out the songs. Strange, but true. I was the dream child of Disney and Mattel’s PR team. I ate, breathed and slept princesses, Barbies and happily ever after.

Boy oh boy would they be disappointed in me today.

My parents gave me the gift of a Jewish education from pre-school through a year in seminary. Having been in The System my entire life, I am well aware it has flaws, but I would be a thankless wretch to say that going to Yeshiva day school did not help cultivate my commitment to living a religious life. Instead of being taught to incorporate the Disney equivelent of a+b=c into my life even further, my teachers helped me discover the real equation. Yes, the most lauded route was the “forget-boys-exist-for-the-next-four-years” route, and you just know that doesn’t go over well with most 15 year old girls who have already been IMing their crushes smiley faces since the 5th grade…but it had the element of truth.And I knew that. I knew it very well. You see, I never had the desire to flirt for fun or be in a relationship for fun. I wanted something meaningful and deep. I wanted the kind of relationship that would stand through the tests of time and endure the obstacles of the unknown.

I wanted the Real Deal. I always have and I always will.*

You see, what made Pocahontas and John Smith different (well, in the movie at least), is that they had obstacles to overcome. Their relationship didn’t “just happen,” they made it happen. The magic of “love” didn’t turn John into a handsome prince nor did it awaken Pocahontas from a deathly slumber. Despite all the Disney fluffing and packaging, an element of truth still remained. Finding the Real Deal requires work. Finding the Real Deal requires effort. Finding the Real Deal means facing rejection. Finding the Real Deal means facing disappointment. But more than all of the above, the RD requires courage– the courage to be yourself, the courage to allow others to see you as you are and the courage to see the beauty in imperfection.

*Subject to change. Once I have met my RD, I plan on going from “wanting” to “being satisfied with” the latter mentioned.


4 Responses to “Keeping it Real”

  1. Bored Jewish Guy February 25, 2010 at 2:10 am #

    Great post! I just watched Pocahontas a couple weeks ago with my little siblings for like the fifth time, I love it. Is that weird for a 25 year old guy?

  2. coralcap February 25, 2010 at 3:15 am #

    Thanks so much! I’m new to this blogging thing and still figuring out the ropes, so it’s encouraging to get my very first comment, especially from a seasoned blogger.

    I am of the school of philosophy that many children’s movies contain the best messages out of all the genres. If you can appreciate that, props to you.

    • Bored Jewish Guy February 25, 2010 at 3:29 am #

      Ha, I’m not really that “seasoned” I’ve only been doing the blogging thing for a little over a month. I’m glad I could provide some encouragement though, good luck with the blog and have fun with it.

      It’s true that some children’s movies have good messages but honestly I just find them entertaining, especially when watching them with my younger siblings, nieces and nephews.

  3. Shades of Grey March 9, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    I can identify with the always wanting something real – that’s what kept me out of the dating scene in high school, and I think I’ve benefitted in my actual dating life because of that.

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