“It took a long time for you to notice me,” Shmu teased his new fiancée as they strolled down to the Western Wall. “There were times I was sure I had not a measly chance of capturing your attention.”
“I thought we already had this discussion,” Shifra sighed. “I noticed you first, but I was sure you thought I was a total ditz…”
Shifra was proving herself to be a master USBG advisor. No longer than three hours into the night, she and her USBGer, Libby, were best buds. She even convinced Libby to take a part in one of the skits– something that Libby never really did allegedly.
Yup, I’m in my element. Shifra prodded her pride. And the fact that there are eligible bachelors present is even better.
There was no beating around the bush– Shifra was looking for Mr. Right. Though seminary had praised and lauded the formal shidduch system, she had her own ideas of how she was going to meet the One. Simply going on a blind date was nowhere near the wondrous epic she had in mind for her love story. In her 19-year old head there was no way she could choose a life partner in such a dry and predictable way. It had to be a surprise. That way there’d be no doubt that it was Hashem that brought them together.
Despite her lofty labyrinth of dreams, she understood that she had to do something to meet Mr. Right, so she put herself in the “right” place and started scouting out potentials. The choices were overwhelming. Guys from New York, LA, Chicago and Miami were all under the same roof, dedicated to the same cause. There were even guys from other countries–besides Canada!
Blithely bouncing from her felicity, she barely saved herself from smashing into her carpool companion from earlier that day as he brought a tray of fully dressed chickens from the kitchen.
“Whoa! Sorry, Shmu.” She offered her apologies instantaneously.
He gave her nothing more than an uncomfortable glance then continued on to the dining area.
Shifra shrugged, then headed back to her table full of USBGers. Yet when she got there she was surprised to find only two of them. Sigh. Another bathroom trip?
“Hey girlies!!!” She sang as she swung the door open. “I miss you out there!
They responded in giggle and gaggles and a few OMGs, but eventually they agreed to get back out there and finish their soup before it got cold.
“Wait!” one girl exclaimed before the pack made their exit, “You gotta fix your skirt, Shifra. It stuck in your tights.”
Her skirt and confidence were pulled down in the same sharp pull. If her skirt was sticking out in the bathroom, it must have been greeting the world before when she was in the hallway. In front of everybody.
“It’s a good thing that I caught it before you left the bathroom!”
Shifra gave her biggest smile, hoping it would cover up the red in her cheeks. Now she understood the look Shmu gave her. Oh man…, she paled, cross that one off my list of potentials. She had never been so embarrassed in her life. How could she ever face him again knowing that he could’ve seen such an atrocious sight? Would she be able to talk to him normally? Would he look at her normally? The best and only solution was to stay out of his way as much as possible. Right then and there she knew that she wasn’t going to get to know Shmu Warren.
Shmu never noticed.